Having It All

24 Hours and much listening to the some Access Consciousness processes our lady friend already had much more freedom in her relationship. Then I asked her;

“Next step is ‘how do you gain control, honey?’”

“How many times do you see a man? And you instantly go, I'm not going to choose him because he would be too controlling. But when you see the men that you don't think are going to be controlling, you choose them and they end up being controlling?”

Lady: “I’m leaving him.”

If you're the one saying goodbye. Who's in control, you or them?

Lady: “Fuck.” 

“Fuck is right. If you were willing to choose you to such a degree that you didn’t fall into their control, would they have to leave you?”

“You're with them. What if you didn't leave? If your normal choice, your old choice was “OK, I'll allow them to control me.” Your new choice is “I will leave.” What other choices do you have available? And everything that doesn't allow that to show up will you destroy and uncreate it all? Right and Wrong, Good and Bad, POD and POC all 100, shorts, boys, POVADs and Beyonds.”

“An element of being out of control is having all choices available to you.”

“Now, I have another question for you. When you choose to be controlled by others, do you leave you? Do you stop being you?”

“When you leave them or when your only option is to leave them, are you leaving you?” 

Lady: “Wow!”

Yeah, that's what I did in order to  control  others, I constantly left them. And it was years before I realized, “Oh my God, every time I leave them, I leave me.” Because in that moment I am deciding that their desire to control me is more powerful and more valuable than me having me. What other choices do you have? And that's all you have to do. I’m not saying you can't leave, but when you don't have leaving as your only choice you start closing the back door, and you actually start committing to you and committing to creating and having your life.